1
00:00:06,666 --> 00:00:08,033
- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

2
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:11,136
And I live with my parents!

3
00:00:11,203 --> 00:00:12,004
Ow!

4
00:00:12,071 --> 00:00:13,706
This is my dad.

5
00:00:13,773 --> 00:00:15,975
[zany music]

6
00:00:16,041 --> 00:00:18,711
This is my mom.
[laughs]

7
00:00:18,778 --> 00:00:21,814
This is my sister. She's shy.

8
00:00:21,881 --> 00:00:24,183
This is my grandpa.

9
00:00:24,249 --> 00:00:26,952
This is my room!

10
00:00:27,019 --> 00:00:27,953
And this...

11
00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:29,922
* *

12
00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:33,325
This is my show!

13
00:00:33,392 --> 00:00:35,260
* *

14
00:00:36,696 --> 00:00:39,431
[upbeat music]

15
00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:43,736
- Hello, everyone,
and welcome to my show!

16
00:00:43,803 --> 00:00:45,738
Today's episode is

17
00:00:45,805 --> 00:00:48,340
"Try This at Home."

18
00:00:48,407 --> 00:00:49,842
So kids, get ready--

19
00:00:49,909 --> 00:00:51,343
- Wrong!

20
00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:54,279
More like,
"Don't try this anywhere."

21
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:58,450
I mean, how is that dynamite
even staying in the toaster?

22
00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:01,754
Is this anti-gravity
dynamite or--

23
00:01:01,821 --> 00:01:02,922
- Bubble Bass!

24
00:01:02,988 --> 00:01:08,828
I'm doing a load,
so send up your dirties!

25
00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:11,697
- Mother, I am busy making art!

26
00:01:11,764 --> 00:01:14,266
- Well, I'm busy doing laundry,

27
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:18,671
so put your stinky little
costume in the basket!

28
00:01:18,738 --> 00:01:22,374
- It is a uniform,
and you know it!

29
00:01:22,441 --> 00:01:23,943
[groans]

30
00:01:24,009 --> 00:01:25,477
I hate it.

31
00:01:25,545 --> 00:01:27,112
It's trash. Ugh!

32
00:01:27,179 --> 00:01:29,582
"The Bubble Bass
Reviews Show."

33
00:01:29,649 --> 00:01:32,785
Welcome to "The Bubble Bass
Reviews Show,"

34
00:01:32,852 --> 00:01:35,187
episode 674.

35
00:01:35,254 --> 00:01:38,323
Today's review,
"The Patrick Show,"

36
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:44,229
with me, your host,
Bubble Bass.

37
00:01:44,296 --> 00:01:47,132
Now, let us begin
as we always do

38
00:01:47,199 --> 00:01:48,734
with our first segment,

39
00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:51,336
"You Can't Do That
in Real Life."

40
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,773
Oh, uh, let me move
my mouse out of the way.

41
00:01:53,839 --> 00:01:56,275
[giggling]

42
00:01:56,341 --> 00:01:58,077
Wait, you're not supposed
to see this!

43
00:01:58,143 --> 00:02:02,615
The right clip this time,
just watch.

44
00:02:02,682 --> 00:02:04,984
- Today's been really nice.
- Yeah.

45
00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:08,754
- Look at this--
fire underwater?

46
00:02:08,821 --> 00:02:11,423
You can't do that in real life!

47
00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:12,592
[laughs]

48
00:02:12,658 --> 00:02:15,628
I hope someone
gets fired for this.

49
00:02:15,695 --> 00:02:17,963
[snorting]

50
00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:22,101
- Bubble Bass,
pizza bagels are ready!

51
00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:23,703
- Pizza bagels!

52
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,370
Oh, boy!

53
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:29,041
- Special treat
for a special boy.

54
00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:30,710
- Thank you, Mother.

55
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:33,946
Oh, joy, I--is that on?

56
00:02:34,013 --> 00:02:34,947
[static buzzing]

57
00:02:35,014 --> 00:02:36,682
Excelsior!

58
00:02:36,749 --> 00:02:38,851
Patrick's tooth-shaped mystery

59
00:02:38,918 --> 00:02:40,552
shall never be solved,

60
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:45,024
which brings us to our
next segment, "You Goof'd!"

61
00:02:46,258 --> 00:02:51,163
Today's goof
is from episode 054.

62
00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:55,267
- Well, here goes nothing!

63
00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:56,636
[grunt]

64
00:02:56,702 --> 00:02:57,737
- Ah!
Doh!

65
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,171
- There!

66
00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,807
The baseball clearly
enters frame right to left,

67
00:03:01,874 --> 00:03:05,945
whereas, previously,
it was traveling left to right.

68
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,013
The shots don't hook up.

69
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,482
My immersion is ruined!

70
00:03:10,549 --> 00:03:13,819
You had one job,
and you goof'd!

71
00:03:13,886 --> 00:03:16,789
[laughter]

72
00:03:16,856 --> 00:03:18,958
Nya, nya, kitten princess.

73
00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:22,594
Limited edition
My Tidy Seahorse.

74
00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:23,996
And now--

75
00:03:24,063 --> 00:03:26,031
[squelching]

76
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:28,300
[belch]

77
00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:32,672
Bubble Bass Reviews is brought
to you by canned nacho cheese.

78
00:03:32,738 --> 00:03:33,873
- No, no, no, no, no.

79
00:03:33,939 --> 00:03:36,508
It's time for a word
from your mama.

80
00:03:36,575 --> 00:03:38,577
- Mother!
- Nuh-uh.

81
00:03:38,644 --> 00:03:41,480
I pay the bill
for the worldwide internets,

82
00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:46,551
and I can interrupt your sad
little show any time I want.

83
00:03:46,618 --> 00:03:47,887
- But, Ma!

84
00:03:47,953 --> 00:03:49,621
- Shush, you.

85
00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:50,890
Listen up, home viewers.

86
00:03:50,956 --> 00:03:52,357
My son needs help.

87
00:03:52,424 --> 00:03:54,593
He's pathetic.
He needs a job.

88
00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:58,263
Maybe one of youse knows
someone who's hiring.

89
00:03:58,330 --> 00:04:01,734
Full disclosure,
he is not good at anything.

90
00:04:01,801 --> 00:04:03,769
Maybe he can work in animation.

91
00:04:03,836 --> 00:04:05,070
- Ma!

92
00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:08,540
Only losers work in animation!

93
00:04:08,607 --> 00:04:10,209
- Ugh, look at this.

94
00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:13,879
There's skid marks
on all his underwear!

95
00:04:13,946 --> 00:04:19,184
Oh, and he buys multiples
of the same superhero dolls.

96
00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:22,187
- Hey, those are mint on card!

97
00:04:22,254 --> 00:04:24,724
- Home viewers,
hear a mother's plea!

98
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:28,694
Please, somebody,
pretend to be his friend.

99
00:04:28,761 --> 00:04:30,495
Take him outdoors.

100
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:34,666
He hasn't been exposed
to natural light in 12 weeks!

101
00:04:34,734 --> 00:04:35,768
[dramatic music]

102
00:04:35,835 --> 00:04:37,169
- [hisses]

103
00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:40,639
- It is a gosh darn tragedy,
I am telling you.

104
00:04:40,706 --> 00:04:42,141
[door slams]

105
00:04:42,207 --> 00:04:45,444
- Uh, anyway,
moving right along,

106
00:04:45,510 --> 00:04:47,512
let us take a look
at another clip

107
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:52,785
from episode 227F
of "The Patrick Show."

108
00:04:53,786 --> 00:04:55,254
- Oh, no!

109
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,957
My pants fell down.

110
00:04:58,023 --> 00:05:00,092
Whoa! Whoa!

111
00:05:00,159 --> 00:05:03,763
Oh, somebody help me!

112
00:05:03,829 --> 00:05:06,966
- Every episode
of this show should be tossed

113
00:05:07,032 --> 00:05:09,301
in a dumpster and set on fire!

114
00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:12,337
"The Patrick Show"
is a crime against humanity,

115
00:05:12,404 --> 00:05:15,107
and--and--and everyone
involved with it

116
00:05:15,174 --> 00:05:17,342
should be thrown in jail!

117
00:05:17,409 --> 00:05:20,479
Patrick for starring in it,
Squidina for producing it,

118
00:05:20,545 --> 00:05:24,416
and the lawnies
for watching it!

119
00:05:24,483 --> 00:05:28,720
I'm just glad my audience
isn't that pathetic.

120
00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:30,823
Right, fellas?

121
00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:35,294
"Bubble Bass Reviews
is the greatest show ever!"

122
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,064
[giggling]
I couldn't agree more.

123
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,966
- Bubble Bass.
- [gulps]

124
00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:44,703
- You had better not be talking
to your dolls again!

125
00:05:44,770 --> 00:05:45,938
[door slams]

126
00:05:46,005 --> 00:05:47,372
- [laughs nervously]

127
00:05:47,439 --> 00:05:50,742
Anyhoo,
let's get back to business.

128
00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:51,877
[clears throat]

129
00:05:51,944 --> 00:05:53,378
"The Patrick Show"

130
00:05:53,445 --> 00:05:55,647
is the worst show
on television!

131
00:05:55,714 --> 00:05:59,151
Patrick Star and Squidina
are the enemies of the state.

132
00:05:59,218 --> 00:06:01,887
Oh, they make me so angry!

133
00:06:01,954 --> 00:06:03,555
[blabbering]

134
00:06:03,622 --> 00:06:05,858
- [sighs]
I guess Bubble Bass isn't

135
00:06:05,925 --> 00:06:07,993
exactly a fan of the show.

136
00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:13,198
- Well, maybe we ought to go
have a little talk with him.

137
00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:14,834
[ominous music]

138
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:17,436
[thunder crashes]

139
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,972
Oh, and we better
bring an umbrella,

140
00:06:20,039 --> 00:06:21,440
since it just started raining.

141
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,642
- Good call!
- Call who?

142
00:06:23,708 --> 00:06:26,311
- Touchdown!

143
00:06:26,378 --> 00:06:29,081
[buzzer blares]

144
00:06:29,148 --> 00:06:32,918
Need another reason not
to watch "The Patrick Show"?

145
00:06:32,985 --> 00:06:34,319
Look at this.

146
00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:38,057
Patrick's got
a regular sea star hand.

147
00:06:38,123 --> 00:06:40,826
Three scenes later,
he's got thumbs.

148
00:06:40,893 --> 00:06:43,528
Ugh! So enraging!

149
00:06:43,595 --> 00:06:49,668
It makes me want to hate-eat an
entire box of powdered donuts!

150
00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:52,171
[thunder crashes]

151
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,505
Ugh!

152
00:06:53,572 --> 00:06:55,574
One box wasn't enough.

153
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:56,842
I'm still angry!

154
00:06:56,909 --> 00:06:59,611
I need more hate donuts!

155
00:06:59,678 --> 00:07:03,682
- Bubble Bass, your friends
are here to see you.

156
00:07:03,748 --> 00:07:04,950
- Friends?

157
00:07:05,017 --> 00:07:08,453
But I don't have any.

158
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,524
- Said their names
are Patrick and Squidina.

159
00:07:12,591 --> 00:07:14,626
- Patrick and Squidina?

160
00:07:14,693 --> 00:07:16,395
OK, show's over!

161
00:07:16,461 --> 00:07:18,463
Tell them I'm not home!

162
00:07:20,632 --> 00:07:21,833
Whew.

163
00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:24,836
[panting]

164
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:29,841
[thunder rumbling]

165
00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:31,110
[gasps]

166
00:07:31,176 --> 00:07:32,377
[knocking]

167
00:07:32,444 --> 00:07:35,347
- Bubble Bass!

168
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,850
- Bubble Bass!

169
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:40,953
- [whimpering]

170
00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,187
Ahh!

171
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:45,991
My mint condition
action figures!

172
00:07:46,058 --> 00:07:49,561
Ahh! My comic books!

173
00:07:49,628 --> 00:07:53,165
Ooh, my retro gaming console!

174
00:07:53,232 --> 00:07:55,867
[dramatic music]

175
00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:57,736
Ahh!

176
00:07:57,802 --> 00:08:00,940
[whimpering]

177
00:08:01,006 --> 00:08:04,977
- We've been watching
your show, Bubble Bass.

178
00:08:05,044 --> 00:08:08,880
- Yeah, we heard everything
you said about us.

179
00:08:08,948 --> 00:08:11,850
- Ahh!

180
00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:13,352
Mother!

181
00:08:14,086 --> 00:08:15,387
Mother!

182
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,289
[upbeat music
playing on headphones]

183
00:08:17,356 --> 00:08:19,024
- Bubble Bass.

184
00:08:19,091 --> 00:08:21,493
- [squeals]

185
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,264
- We watched every episode.

186
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,299
- Ahh!

187
00:08:27,366 --> 00:08:30,402
[grunting]

188
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:33,338
I'm sorry!

189
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:37,909
I'm sorry!

190
00:08:37,977 --> 00:08:39,911
I'm so, so, so, so sorry!

191
00:08:39,979 --> 00:08:41,947
I'm sorry for everything!

192
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,419
- Thank you.

193
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,721
- Your hours
of constructive criticism

194
00:08:49,788 --> 00:08:52,624
of "The Patrick Show"
have been enlightening.

195
00:08:52,691 --> 00:08:53,758
- Huh?

196
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,028
- Your show changed our lives!

197
00:08:56,095 --> 00:08:58,697
It showed us all the things
"The Patrick Show"

198
00:08:58,763 --> 00:09:01,533
was doing wrong,
so we can fix them!

199
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,037
- We were so inspired,
we decided to return the favor.

200
00:09:05,104 --> 00:09:11,076
- We made our own review show
to review your review show!

201
00:09:11,143 --> 00:09:12,544
- [whimpering]

202
00:09:12,611 --> 00:09:16,915
both: It's time for
"Review Review"!

203
00:09:16,982 --> 00:09:21,053
- The show where we review
Bubble Bass reviews.

204
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,988
Patrick, take it away.

205
00:09:23,055 --> 00:09:27,426
- Normally, when you stain your
clothes, you feel embarrassed,

206
00:09:27,492 --> 00:09:29,694
but that's what we love
about Bubble Bass--

207
00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:31,396
no shame.

208
00:09:31,463 --> 00:09:33,665
Let's take a look
at some of Bubble Bass'

209
00:09:33,732 --> 00:09:35,834
most memorable stains.

210
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:38,437
- [gulping]

211
00:09:38,503 --> 00:09:41,306
- Episode 26, grape juice!

212
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:42,907
- Poorly produced--

213
00:09:42,974 --> 00:09:44,043
Honestly--

214
00:09:44,109 --> 00:09:47,479
- Episode 32, oatmeal.

215
00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:51,516
Episode 41, ketchup.

216
00:09:52,817 --> 00:09:57,789
And episode 48,
chocolate syrup.

217
00:09:57,856 --> 00:10:01,893
There are
527 more stain examples,

218
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,129
but we just don't
have the time!

219
00:10:04,196 --> 00:10:05,830
Squidina.

220
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,833
- Bubble Bass throws
a lot of tantrums,

221
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:12,171
so we made a supercut
of the loudest ones!

222
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,005
- Oo-ahh!

223
00:10:14,073 --> 00:10:15,374
Mother!

224
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,376
No!

225
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:20,879
[sobbing]

226
00:10:20,945 --> 00:10:24,449
- It's super entertaining,
Patrick.

227
00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:27,319
- Bubble Bass
works really hard.

228
00:10:27,386 --> 00:10:30,755
You could tell because all
that sweat that comes off him.

229
00:10:30,822 --> 00:10:34,459
It's like Niagara Falls,
for crying out loud.

230
00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:35,694
- [shouting]

231
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,997
- This episode has
2 billion views already.

232
00:10:39,064 --> 00:10:42,033
- Pretty cool, huh, Bubs?

233
00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:45,137
- [screaming]

234
00:10:45,204 --> 00:10:47,606
- I can't believe it.

235
00:10:47,672 --> 00:10:50,109
My son is outdoors,

236
00:10:50,175 --> 00:10:53,712
participating
in physical activity!

237
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:57,382
And it's all thanks
to his new friends.

238
00:10:57,449 --> 00:11:00,385
- [groaning]

239
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,388
[light music]

240
00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,957
* *

241
00:11:06,024 --> 00:11:08,293
- Hey!
The sun's coming out!

242
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,295
- Bubble Bass,
you get back here

243
00:11:10,362 --> 00:11:11,563
and put on some sunscreen!

244
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,099
You're gonna get burned!

245
00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:17,136
- I'll be fine, Mother!

246
00:11:20,605 --> 00:11:23,542
[upbeat music]

247
00:11:23,608 --> 00:11:26,611
* *

248
00:11:26,678 --> 00:11:28,213
- Prison, prison.

249
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,182
I want to see prison.

250
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:34,719
- I am so happy to get to spend

251
00:11:34,786 --> 00:11:39,090
Take Your Child to Work Day
with my big boy.

252
00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:40,525
- Stop, Mom!

253
00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:42,927
You're embarrassing me.

254
00:11:44,229 --> 00:11:48,167
Aw, I dropped
my ice cream down my pants.

255
00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:50,302
Huh, oddly refreshing.

256
00:11:50,369 --> 00:11:52,237
- Oh, nonsense.

257
00:11:52,304 --> 00:11:54,739
Now, Patrick, always remember

258
00:11:54,806 --> 00:11:58,510
the most important rule
of prison.

259
00:11:58,577 --> 00:12:01,280
Have fun!

260
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,248
Welcome to prison.

261
00:12:03,315 --> 00:12:05,417
Have a wonderful time.

262
00:12:05,484 --> 00:12:06,785
Oh!

263
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:10,189
Now you turn that frown
upside down, mister.

264
00:12:10,255 --> 00:12:14,959
- Say, maybe prison
won't be so bad after all.

265
00:12:16,728 --> 00:12:19,298
- Oh, can I be
the prison greeter now?

266
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,166
[tires screeching]

267
00:12:21,233 --> 00:12:23,602
Welcome to prison, bus!

268
00:12:23,668 --> 00:12:25,504
Come on in!

269
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,272
- Oh!

270
00:12:27,339 --> 00:12:30,342
- Gee, Mom, your job is hard.

271
00:12:30,409 --> 00:12:32,277
I think I need a break.

272
00:12:32,344 --> 00:12:33,545
[gurgling]

273
00:12:33,612 --> 00:12:35,680
A bathroom break.

274
00:12:35,747 --> 00:12:37,882
[toilet flushing]

275
00:12:37,949 --> 00:12:38,883
[snapping]

276
00:12:38,950 --> 00:12:40,352
Whoa.

277
00:12:40,419 --> 00:12:43,255
Oh, now, this is a bathroom!

278
00:12:43,322 --> 00:12:46,090
It's got everything I need--

279
00:12:46,157 --> 00:12:50,795
a toilet, a bed...

280
00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:53,698
and a second bunk-style bed,

281
00:12:53,765 --> 00:12:56,067
and my very own--

282
00:12:56,134 --> 00:12:58,437
ooh, Sockeye Sammy?

283
00:12:58,503 --> 00:13:00,472
- Hey! What gives?

284
00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,674
- [screams]
I'm sorry!

285
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,944
I didn't know
this bathroom was occupied!

286
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:08,480
- This kid thinks
this place is the bathroom?

287
00:13:08,547 --> 00:13:10,915
[laughs]
He must be an idiot.

288
00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:14,886
Hmm, maybe a useful idiot.

289
00:13:14,953 --> 00:13:16,488
Hey, kid.

290
00:13:16,555 --> 00:13:18,523
Sorry I was so mean before.

291
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:20,625
The bathroom is all yours.

292
00:13:20,692 --> 00:13:23,428
You couldn't even have
my special bathroom suit.

293
00:13:23,495 --> 00:13:24,896
- Whoa!

294
00:13:24,963 --> 00:13:26,231
Ooh.

295
00:13:26,298 --> 00:13:30,201
So much nicer
than my normal bathroom suit.

296
00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:35,774
The horizontal stripes show
off my fulsome roundness.

297
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:40,445
* *

298
00:13:40,512 --> 00:13:43,982
- Hey, hey, enjoy
the bathroom, pal.

299
00:13:44,048 --> 00:13:46,418
- Way ahead of you, buddy.

300
00:13:46,485 --> 00:13:49,087
[ominous music]

301
00:13:51,323 --> 00:13:52,691
- Easy.

302
00:13:52,757 --> 00:13:54,626
I'll just blend in
with the crowd.

303
00:13:54,693 --> 00:13:55,927
[giggling]

304
00:13:55,994 --> 00:13:56,861
- Halt!

305
00:13:56,928 --> 00:14:00,299
You ain't going nowhere

306
00:14:00,365 --> 00:14:05,737
without a souvenir
from the confiscated item bin.

307
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:09,040
- Gee, thanks, mister.

308
00:14:10,709 --> 00:14:12,777
I'm free--oh!

309
00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:16,581
- Oh, Patrick, it's time to go!

310
00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:18,717
Oh, here you are, Patrick.

311
00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:22,821
This is no time
to play roadkill.

312
00:14:22,887 --> 00:14:24,623
I'm gonna fix you up
some dinner,

313
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:27,859
and you'll feel all better.

314
00:14:27,926 --> 00:14:29,494
- Excuse me, ma'am.

315
00:14:29,561 --> 00:14:31,463
Can you help me find my mom?

316
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:33,532
I need to get out of here.

317
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:35,400
- You hear that, fellas?

318
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:39,671
This guy wants his mommy-wommy
to take him home.

319
00:14:39,738 --> 00:14:41,840
[laughter]

320
00:14:41,906 --> 00:14:44,042
- That uniform means
you're stuck here, Jack.

321
00:14:44,108 --> 00:14:47,412
You're a prisoner now, like us!

322
00:14:47,479 --> 00:14:49,514
[gurgling]

323
00:14:49,581 --> 00:14:51,950
- So that means,

324
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:56,321
I'm gonna miss dinner!

325
00:14:56,388 --> 00:14:59,558
[sobbing]

326
00:15:00,224 --> 00:15:04,128
- You know,
we have a cafeteria.

327
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:06,230
- Show me.

328
00:15:06,297 --> 00:15:09,233
[jazzy music]

329
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,203
* *

330
00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:14,238
- Get away from me!

331
00:15:14,305 --> 00:15:15,907
* *

332
00:15:15,974 --> 00:15:17,976
- Wow, this place is great!

333
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:23,047
They serve an entire meal
on a giant metal cracker.

334
00:15:28,186 --> 00:15:29,421
[all gasping]

335
00:15:29,488 --> 00:15:30,755
- Did you see that, guys?

336
00:15:30,822 --> 00:15:32,424
- Oh, that's nothing.

337
00:15:32,491 --> 00:15:34,759
I could eat 50 trays.

338
00:15:34,826 --> 00:15:39,431
- Hey, I bet you
can't eat 100 trays.

339
00:15:39,498 --> 00:15:43,167
[all exclaiming]

340
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,303
One.

341
00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:48,106
Two.

342
00:15:48,172 --> 00:15:49,508
Three.

343
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:50,975
[tires screech]

344
00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:55,213
- OK, we're home,
just in time for dinner.

345
00:15:55,279 --> 00:15:56,715
- Finally.

346
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,583
I better make my escape, yeah.
[police sirens wailing]

347
00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:00,785
- [gasps]

348
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:05,657
Yeah, dinner sounds great.

349
00:16:05,724 --> 00:16:07,926
- What's on the menu
tonight, hon-bun?

350
00:16:07,992 --> 00:16:11,596
- I figured
I'd cook a gourmet treat.

351
00:16:11,663 --> 00:16:13,197
- All right!

352
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:17,235
- Boot souffl�
with garbage au rotten.

353
00:16:17,301 --> 00:16:18,670
[dramatic music]

354
00:16:18,737 --> 00:16:20,338
- [gagging]

355
00:16:20,405 --> 00:16:24,142
Actually,
I'm not really that hungry.

356
00:16:24,208 --> 00:16:25,544
[all gasp]

357
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:26,978
- Not hungry?

358
00:16:27,045 --> 00:16:28,413
Better call the police.

359
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:33,384
An imposter switched places
with my son.

360
00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:35,520
* *

361
00:16:35,587 --> 00:16:37,155
- Oh, wait.

362
00:16:37,221 --> 00:16:40,191
My appetite just came back.

363
00:16:40,258 --> 00:16:41,726
[laughter]

364
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:45,363
- I was only kidding, son.

365
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:48,066
- Good one, Dad.

366
00:16:50,502 --> 00:16:53,271
- [growling and snapping]

367
00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:55,239
- Ahh!

368
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,342
[whimpering]

369
00:16:58,409 --> 00:17:00,779
This place is loco!

370
00:17:02,714 --> 00:17:03,715
Whew.

371
00:17:03,782 --> 00:17:05,249
Ahh!

372
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,686
I gotta find a way out of here.

373
00:17:07,752 --> 00:17:10,789
Ha-ha, back door!

374
00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:13,492
Ahh!

375
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,563
all: 99.

376
00:17:21,933 --> 00:17:23,134
[sighs]

377
00:17:23,201 --> 00:17:25,670
all: 100!
[cheering]

378
00:17:25,737 --> 00:17:30,241
- [crying]
There goes my bail money.

379
00:17:30,308 --> 00:17:33,144
- Ha-ha,
you're an animal, Patrick.

380
00:17:33,211 --> 00:17:36,280
Thanks to you,
I made so much bread.

381
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,549
See?

382
00:17:37,616 --> 00:17:38,650
Huh?

383
00:17:38,717 --> 00:17:40,585
This guy--

384
00:17:40,652 --> 00:17:43,722
- [gulps]
- Is my new best friend!

385
00:17:43,788 --> 00:17:46,157
[all chanting]
Patrick, Patrick!

386
00:17:46,224 --> 00:17:48,459
- Wow, Mom was right.

387
00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:50,261
Prison is fun.

388
00:17:50,328 --> 00:17:51,863
- Lights out!

389
00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:54,165
- There goes our fun.

390
00:17:54,232 --> 00:17:58,302
- Guys, why don't we
have a slumber party?

391
00:17:59,403 --> 00:18:02,373
[laughter]

392
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,975
- Pillow fight!

393
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:07,011
[grunting]

394
00:18:07,078 --> 00:18:09,313
* *

395
00:18:14,986 --> 00:18:17,622
- I'm alive. I'm alive.

396
00:18:17,689 --> 00:18:19,858
Huh?
- Patrick!

397
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:23,728
We were supposed to start "The
Patrick Show" five minutes ago!

398
00:18:23,795 --> 00:18:25,630
- What?
You're mistaken.

399
00:18:25,697 --> 00:18:27,566
I'm not Patrick. See?

400
00:18:27,632 --> 00:18:29,233
- Well, duh.

401
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,571
Clearly, Patrick went
to prison and swapped places

402
00:18:32,637 --> 00:18:34,072
with a dangerous criminal.

403
00:18:34,138 --> 00:18:36,407
But I still need a Patrick.

404
00:18:36,474 --> 00:18:38,643
The show must go on!

405
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,745
Here's your script.

406
00:18:40,812 --> 00:18:42,513
- It just says "whoa."

407
00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:44,949
- Exactly.

408
00:18:45,016 --> 00:18:46,517
- Whoa!

409
00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:48,319
Oof!

410
00:18:49,854 --> 00:18:53,157
[laughter]

411
00:18:53,224 --> 00:18:54,826
- You're doing great.

412
00:18:54,893 --> 00:18:57,696
Now let's end
this skit with a bang!

413
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,497
- Bang?

414
00:18:59,564 --> 00:19:01,032
Ahh!

415
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:04,703
Get me out
of this insane asylum!

416
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:05,937
Huh?

417
00:19:06,004 --> 00:19:08,807
- Patrick, can I extract
one of your teeth

418
00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:10,675
to complete my shrine?

419
00:19:10,742 --> 00:19:12,911
[dramatic music]

420
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,613
- Ugh!

421
00:19:14,679 --> 00:19:16,080
- Patrick!

422
00:19:16,147 --> 00:19:19,584
It's time
for my bunion massage.

423
00:19:19,651 --> 00:19:22,120
- Massage us.

424
00:19:22,186 --> 00:19:25,089
- [screaming]

425
00:19:25,156 --> 00:19:28,627
I'm surrounded!

426
00:19:28,693 --> 00:19:31,830
- Hey, we're not done yet!

427
00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:34,265
Whee!

428
00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:38,569
- Dig quieter.

429
00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:41,072
We don't want the guards
to hear us.

430
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:46,110
- [gasp]
Guys, how could you?

431
00:19:47,411 --> 00:19:51,716
Not tell me the prison
is made of food?

432
00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:54,686
Oh, can I have a spoonful,
pretty please, pretty please?

433
00:19:54,753 --> 00:19:57,088
- Huh?
- [chuckling]

434
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,624
Sure thing, pal.

435
00:19:59,691 --> 00:20:01,693
- Yeah, go nuts.

436
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:05,029
- There's nuts in this too?

437
00:20:10,568 --> 00:20:13,404
both: Freedom!

438
00:20:13,471 --> 00:20:15,840
- [panting]

439
00:20:15,907 --> 00:20:17,375
Huh?

440
00:20:17,441 --> 00:20:18,910
Ouch!

441
00:20:18,977 --> 00:20:20,912
It's you. The idiot!

442
00:20:20,979 --> 00:20:22,613
I'm through with being you.

443
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:27,018
I'd rather be in prison,
where it's safe!

444
00:20:27,085 --> 00:20:28,820
Adios, kid.

445
00:20:28,887 --> 00:20:32,123
Jail, sweet jail, here I come.

446
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,993
- Aw, my bathroom suit.

447
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,395
- There you are,
actual Patrick.

448
00:20:37,461 --> 00:20:39,731
Come on, we've got
to finish this skit

449
00:20:39,798 --> 00:20:42,600
before the fuse blows.

450
00:20:45,569 --> 00:20:46,871
- Wait a minute!

451
00:20:46,938 --> 00:20:49,774
I got something to say!
[grunts]

452
00:20:49,841 --> 00:20:51,943
- Huh?

453
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:55,079
- Leedles and gentle leedles,

454
00:20:55,146 --> 00:20:59,417
I have just returned
from a magical place.

455
00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,319
- Huh?

456
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:05,356
- A place full of yummy food,
slumber parties,

457
00:21:05,423 --> 00:21:09,660
and the best pals
a fella could ever ask for.

458
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:11,462
- Huh?

459
00:21:11,529 --> 00:21:13,231
- A place
where the walls are made

460
00:21:13,297 --> 00:21:18,036
of dirt-flavored ice cream,
a place called...

461
00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,604
- Prison!

462
00:21:20,671 --> 00:21:22,340
Yes, I'm back!

463
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,944
I'm finally safe
from that crazy Star family!

464
00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:29,547
- So, my crazy Star family,

465
00:21:29,613 --> 00:21:32,984
what do you say we move
into prison right now?

466
00:21:33,051 --> 00:21:38,156
- Ooh, it will do wonders
for my morning commute.

467
00:21:38,222 --> 00:21:39,724
- Wh-wh-what?

468
00:21:39,791 --> 00:21:43,461
No! No!

469
00:21:43,527 --> 00:21:48,699
- Oh, yeah,
we're going to prison!

470
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:50,568
all: Yay!

471
00:21:50,634 --> 00:21:52,270
[laughter]

472
00:21:53,071 --> 00:21:55,073
- Hi-ya, roomie!

473
00:21:56,707 --> 00:21:58,977
- [screaming]

474
00:21:59,043 --> 00:22:00,945
- Hey, nice bathroom!

475
00:22:01,012 --> 00:22:02,613
I call the top bunk!

476
00:22:04,082 --> 00:22:07,051
[upbeat music]

477
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:14,258
* *

478
00:22:14,308 --> 00:22:18,858
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